WHAT’S SO ‘SPECIAL’ ABOUT ‘GHANA’?

By Hemant Firke

July 29^th 2012

Cyber Exploration of this West African country ultimately made me realize this.

‘The Gold Coast’ achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1957, becoming one of the first African nations to do so from European Colonialism.

 ‘Ghana’ was adopted as the legal name for the ‘The Gold Coast’ post independence.

The word ‘Ghana’ means ‘Warrior King’ and is derived from the ancient Ghana Empire which once extended throughout much of West Africa.

Country hailed as a solid democracy with nine government-sponsored spoken languages, English being the official Language with four major religions, Ghana is a diverse nation and one of the best growing economies in Africa.

The number of individual languages listed for Ghana is 79. Of those, all are living languages.

Ghana has a population of about 24 million people and Christianity is the country's largest religion practiced by 69.1% of the total population.

The Ghana Stock Exchange is the third largest Stock exchange in Africa after the Johannesburg Stock Exchange and the Nigerian Stock Exchange.
Football is the most popular sport. Ghana became the third African country to reach the quarter final stage of the World Cup after Cameroon in 1990 and Senegal in 2002. The app store has a special app available by name “what my name in Ghana’ which tells your name in Ghanaian languages.
With over 95% of its children in school, Ghana currently has one of the highest school enrollment rates in all of Africa.

Lake Volta in Ghana is the largest artificial lake in the world.

Remember ‘Kofi Kingston’ from WWE Raw Brand, is a Ghanaian Professional Wrestler well known for his feud with ‘The Viper - Randy Orton’.
Rappers from the same soil, ‘Dizzee Rascal’ and ‘Tinchy Shryder’ today are well known Rap & Hip-Hop artists in USA.
Now the most fascinating part of the story: ‘Store Business Names’ in Ghana.
Ghanaians consider their country a Christian nation and it’s visible all over the country.

Stores in Ghana have religious names for no unobvious reasons...

• ‘Bride of Christ’ Aluminium Works
• ‘In God We Trust’ Fast Food
• ‘My God Is Able’ Plumbing Works
• ‘God Did It All’ Fashion Centre
• ‘Anointed’ Fashion
• ‘In Step with the Spirit’ Enterprises
• ‘Anointed Hands’ Furniture Works
• ‘Blood of Jesus’ Electricals
• ‘Lord Is My Shepherd’ Hotel
• ‘God Will Provide’ Supermarket
• ‘God First’ Carwash



‘Only Jesus can do it’ Shoe Shop

(Is this a reference to ‘walking on water’????)

• ‘Lord J’ Clinic

 Store names that are simply funny...

• ‘Cut and Roll’ Beauty Centre
• ‘Together As One’ Welding and Fabrication
• ‘Don't Mind Your Wife’ Chop Bar
• ‘Korea Man’ Electronics
• ‘Look and Take’ Electricals
• ‘Yogaman's’ Haircut
• ‘Lady Diana's Memorial Shop’, Dealers in Mineral Water and Soft Drinks
• ‘Gina Pee Pee’ Communication Centre’

‘I Shall Not Die’ Motors!!! (‘Immortality Guarantee!!!!’) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Ghana mourns with sudden demise of their President John Atta Mills on July 24^th, 2012, the country will always be ‘The African Exceptional’.

May be that’s the reason why ‘Bournville’ promoters have chosen Ghana as their best cocoa brand ambassador although it is the ‘second’ largest Cocoa producer in the world.

Something special, isn’t it??

Tribal Mentality of Human Beings

There is a great tribal mentality still left in modern human beings. We just want to have a tribe and to have a head or leader ,almost instinctively.We need to have a tribe in the name of country, in the name of state, in the name of region and religion or caste or class or language maybe.Having a leader or a head is so much an integral part of our lives whether in our family or at school, at office or in society. Leaders and heads make us feel more tribal and more secure while they enslave us and make us feel feeble at the same time. This is the reason why we can’t live without a Queen in England and a President in India even after electing a horde of other decision makers through ballots. It just feels a bit more secure to the tribal nations in perennial turmoil to have a stable head of state.

Democracy is just your 2nd best bet ,though I have never been at ease with the concept . I don’t have a voter id card, never felt the need to get it except as an address proof, in this age of KYC. I Detest dictatorships specially in business organizations .There is indeed no difference in your life if the dictator is not in the parliament but inside your office or at your home . Indeed its worse as the dictator gets closer to your life.

 

So when I try to see into myself I have a severe distaste for meritocracy, theocracy , dictatorships and of course democracy . Cause is quite simple. All these systems are nothing but a system or a philosophy of having leaders chosen or imposed.  I am strictly against the idea of having leaders, elected or otherwise. I stand against the idea of having masters elected or nominated ,by the force of bullet or by the force of ballot .It doesn’t matter much either ways . 

The anarchists failed to put it in the right perspective. There need be no disorder and it shall be a simply stable world if we just put out this idea that there is some need to have some ruler and to have some leaders and to have some masters and to have some bosses.I believe in the theory of evolution and I am sure a day will come when humans will evolve into a better species where they will not accept the leadership of fellow humans and treat each other as equals and will yet have a flawless collective society like emperor penguins without chaos and anarchy. I just propose that we live like people in two huts separated by a distance of two hills , taking care of themselves .We just smile when we meet each other and be friends or be un-bothered . 

PS :We dont need good leaders . We need no leaders.

Roll back the ‘Fun-Tastic’ times

BY HEMANT FIRKE

July 16^th,2012

I am sure you remember the times when all members of the family used to come together to watch Chitrahaar or Circus on Doordarshan?

Glued to my seat, I used to watch various exciting series, turning a deaf ear to my mother's call, sometimes ignoring invited guests at home who used to keep on asking me all sorts of nerdy questions about my studies. Sunday evenings were the most awaited for ‘Only Movie of the Week’.

The ones who ain’t aware of this, have missed a lot of, how Indian Television came up the old blues and how our society used to operate with Doordarshan? The jingles of ‘Ek Chidiya Anek Chidiya’, and patriotic song such as ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’ became popular on TV taking over every household by storm.

TV Shows such as Shanti, Buniyaad, Hum Log, Nukkad were the drama entertainment back then while children enjoyed watching Mowgli and Pingu.I enjoyed the most popular song of those days ‘Chaddhi Pehen Ke Phool Khila Hai’ and the most interesting part was the opening line ‘Jungle Jungle Baat Chali Hai, Pata Chala Hai’. It is still so refreshing.

The ticker before each show with the Doordarshan logo and its ‘Signature Montage Tune’ became hugely popular. Remember that ‘aeeeeeeee-aee-aee-aee-aee-aeeeeeeee’. I can never forget the faces of the news readers at the news hour in my life.

Few Classic Doordarshan shows:

- Hum Log

- Buniyaad

- Nukkad

- Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi

- Shaktimaan (India's first superhero!!!)

- Bharat Ek Khoj

- Chanakya

- Mungeri Lal Ke Haseen Sapne

- Mr Yogi

- Karamchand

- Chitrahaar

- Superhit Muqabla

- Vikram Betaal

- Potli Baba

- Tenali rama

- Circus

- Fauji (starred Shahrukh Khan)

- Alif Laila

- Rajani

- Wagle ki Duniya

- Lifeline

- Shrimaan Shrimati (My Fav)

- Tu Tu Main Main

- Zaban Sambhaal Ke

- Dekh Bhai Dekh

- Surabhi

- Stone Boy

- Chandrakanta

- Jaspal Bhatti's Flop Show & Ulta Pulta

- Commercials like Laxman Sylvania, ECE, Frooti, Gold Spot, Lijjat papad, Complan Boy (Shahid Kapur) & Complan Girl (Ayesha Takia), Parle G, Breeze, Moti Sandal, Rasna and many more.

How many of you remember these shows? Ahhhhhhhhhh, those were the days!!!

What is wrong with today’s generation?

‘kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi’.....ufffff....thi toh thi… what the %#&$ ... ?

* The son is elder than the parents.

* People return after death, and I'm not talking about Reincarnation.

* The never dying ‘Ba’ can discover exclusive column in the ‘Guinness Book of World Records’ for 

   her limitless age and enthusiasm to thrive for more, and I guess no granny died before 

   watching the 4th generation of the family.

* Everyone lives in a super luxurious house but no one goes to work.

* The superjealous vamps, ‘Nanand’ and ‘Saas’ can even give a run for the money to the FBI 

   agents.

* And the perfect bahu is probably ‘Adidas Ladies Shoe’ because for her ‘Nothing is Impossible’.

* Expect a Twist?? which originally never existed.

* A ladies ‘Shopping Mall’ in itself.

* ‘Pehli baar Bahu ke haatho ka bana halwa’ is always out of the world.

* Every new guest entering the house, never actually leaves, and gets settled for ever.

All I like is ‘The Ramu Kaka’, who actually looks like ‘Ramu Kaka’!!!!

Torture Alert

I am amazed to find some young people in our cities who regularly watch these series. Some like me would always reject these soaps on grounds of feminism. Most would simply not want to sit at home voting for this nonsense domestic politics. We would rather be out having fun and enjoy life. Not thinking of anything more heart sweating than the latest bicker with our girlfriends/wife or boyfriends/husband.

Who has the time for these boohoo stories? By the way…..

 

Roll back the ‘Fun-Tastic’ times for us and end the  

‘Tele-Fornication’ meltdown of today. 

                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                 

Indian Kids, English Parents!!!

By Guest Author : Hemant Firke

English language has become such an important aspect of our life that the makers of Bollywood movie ‘Roti, Kapda aur Makaan’ today would like to rethink and add it as a fourth ask for ‘The Mango People’.

Many would have noticed and written on this, but I realized when I was speaking to one of my school friends, a few days ago, as how she has become ‘Mommy Bolt’ running around her kid asking to do things against his wish and that too in English.

I remember, being a kid, I used to keep myself real busy with comics, gully cricket, Duck Tales, Mahabharata, trying to do Mowgli adventures and WWF acts. My parents on the other hand never realized the need of speaking in English with me at that time. I used to laugh on the very fact as I grew older. But times have changed.

Now, I have stopped laughing at parents who desperately try to speak in English with their kids. Because it’s not funny anymore.

I understand that they feel totally substandard that they were born in India and try to compensate by being ‘English’ in and out.

“Rinku ... I can’t be able to take you for playschool today!!” is not funny anymore.

Because, “You gave audition in Indian Idol for fun, no?” 

“You don’t use ‘Olay-Total Effects’ to look young, no?”

If you like the language, learn to construct basic sentences.

I have a strong desire to blame it on English speaking countries for this. However, I believe they possess good promotional skills. I have nothing to take away from the Chinese, Germans, Japanese and French, though. We Indians, often called as ‘Suntanned Asians with Napolean Complex’ by the western countries, unfortunately have always followed them to the speed of light than to lead.

 

Definitely Tastes Best With Hands

It is not over yet because I recently heard  IT-software parents coercing their kid to speak in English and "trying" to eat Dosa with spoon and fork. I would have ignored them for speaking in English; but the meat here is, eating Dosa with spoon and fork ???!!!!

NAÏVE SELF EXPLOITATION BY HEMANT FIRKE         J  J                         

29^th June 2012                                                                            

Crazy Kalra

All these quotations are original constructions and destructions of my friend ,philosopher and guide Abhishek Kalra .He did his MBA and was selling Insurance  and as a consequence was actively considering suicide in those days. And you know I had all copy rights to publish it anywhere in case he commited suicide.Then he got married .So the copyrights are all mine .

I am not bothering to edit anything here . What may seem to me a typing error maybe a genuine piece of wit .He said he was inspired by Oscar Wilde and his paradoxes . I think he was ,in those days, two steps ahead of Wilde .Have a look at his

Crazy Quotations

I was a man of few words, until I learnt them.

I love only two kinds of women ones who wear spectacles and others who don’t.

In life there are no shortcuts, but then again life is all about finding shortcuts.


The hallmark of a modern man is that he trades greater shit for lesser shit.

I am most kind hearted I forgive myself all my mistakes.

I am a libertarian I give myself full liberty to feel right, even when I am wrong.

I turned God-loving the day I discovered Pascal’s Wager.

Your life is a parody, your passions are proxy, you are not yourself, you are some body else.

Then god said let there be light and there was light but am still wondering if there was anything worth looking at.

Old age and Sales catch up with you sooner than later. Old age and Sales catch up with you no matter what.

I am a Marxist, I love Groucho Marx

When Bono sang with or without you I think he was talking about the society.

I am a dreamer, dreams come without the 12.24 per cent service tax and you can have them on a dry day too.

A love story is not worth its salt if does not end in Murder, insanity or suicide.

There are only two kinds of men, the ones who “Get Laid” and the others who “Get Late”.

I am so wise at times I can even understand what I am saying.

Women have a god like status in my life, I learnt very early in life that it is “Man proposes and Woman disposes”.

When I heard of Re-insurance I thought it was insurance against the risk of having to sell insurance.

I am very athletic, you will always find me jumping to conclusions and running away from difficulties.

I am most consistent; I seldom mean what I say.

I was regularly irregular before becoming irregularly irregular.

The only thing worse than being sincere, is looking sincere.

I hate the unpredictability of our times, nowadays one can’t even be sure of getting robbed in a bank.

I am most generous, when the going gets tough; I let the tough get going.

Democracy is some for all, communism is none for all and dictatorship is none for all and all for one.

I got to know very early in life unfortunately through experience that when you are lost, you are actually lost.

It takes a man of wealth and taste to appreciate the beauty of sorrow and suffering.

Women are always sure of what they are saying except when they mean it.

I am always sober except when I am not drunk.

Men are always sure of what they are doing except when they understand it.

Men are never so, cruel except when they mean well to others.

All romantics are idealists, a cynic is an idealist gone wrong, and therefore all cynics are romantics.

I get mortally scared whenever I feel I am beginning to understand myself, thankfully it is always a phase which passes quickly.

Women take to matrimony like a fish takes to water.

A man may not be rich enough to pay his credit card bills but he must always be rich enough to buy his death.

I thought life was beautiful, till I discovered the word pathetic.

Men take to matrimony like a coloured man takes to thai cuisine.

I use to take things seriously but then I discovered their importance.

The memory of a woman would never let a man contradict himself.

I was so taken aback by the event of my birth that initially it left me totally dumbfounded for almost a year.

I came, I saw and I ignored

 I came, I saw and I ignored…

 I could, I did not and I cribbed…

 I came, I wandered and I went…

 I wished, I wished and I wished even more…

I should, I would not and I don’t mind…

I heard, I saw and I enjoyed…

I listened, I observed and I cried…

 I lived, I loved and I lied…

 I thought, I could not and I died…

 I was, I am and I will be…

The best mistress one can boast of is convenience.

I lost my marbles so long ago that now I don’t even remember when I lost them.

To be certain in life looks so calculating.

I became a mortal the day I was born.

To fall in love with your best friend’s wife is lazy and to fall in love with his sister unimaginative.

The news channels have created maximum unemployment by putting the workers of rumour mills out of business.

Work till you job hop, shop till you drop, write a blog, listen to some pop, same does the entire crop.

For some, pole in the hole is the sole goal

I don’t want to be idle, I want to be careless instead.

The hallmark of a learned man is that he reads himself correctly but is helpless about the way he is.

Of all the things I like most dislike tops the list.

I am a faceless man walking on a nameless road living a hopeless life in a soulless world.

We are an Iron pumping, Air kissing, Bed hopping, Back biting, Bungee jumping, Soap watching, Mobile wielding, Net surfing and Job switching generation

What drives me impatient is the patience of the patient.

The toughest temptation to resist is that of making a generalization.

There is no limit to the patience of the patient and the impatience of the impatient.

The biggest tragedy that can be is a world without scandals where men love their own wives.

Procreation would be an impossibility if women were to love men for their virtues.

There would have been no humanity had women loved men for their virtues.

To sell or not to sell, that is the negotiation.

To work or not to work, that is the vocation.

I am the best, let others know the rest.

Live life your own size.

If you can’t win them over, let them go

I always do my best and then let others do the rest.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of genuine fun, yours is not the sun and the ball of fire that it is.

Love may or may not be blind but lust sure is not.

The only thing worse than a nagging wife is a curious child.

In god we trust and in hopelessness we die.

Love is a shot through the heart and marriage is a shot in the foot.

Don’t get into the habit of trusting yourself, it can become an addiction.

I have never had any problems with my vision; it has always been six by six in hindsight.

One’s relations are good conductors of electricity; they keep on getting shocked all the time.

Coercion is the best form of persuasion.

The pain of exclusivity is so great that I never became outstanding.

Whatever you do just make sure that whenever you bathe you don’t get wet.

When the sun is shining don’t question which direction it has risen from.

Evolution is a virtue born out of a necessity.

Looks don’t matter except when you are innocent and look guilty inside a courtroom.

What is sleep but one short death and death but, one long sleep?

Rest is the best.

                                                                            Abhishek Kalra