This post only deals with the predicament of
working parents. Women keep blogging about these topics but then men care as much. We who love kids as much as those with a big joint family, or
which are ably managed by housewives and in rarest of rare cases by house-husbands
(I wish I had the courage to become one of them full time) suddenly find that
we are giving a raw deal to our kids . The alternatives are quite petrifying . One
of the spouse has to quit the job .Or get an ill-trained maid whom you don’t know
and just trust your kids in their hand or put the kid at the mercy of a good
looking creche and then put your hand to your heart and say “ALL IS WELL”.Else
force one of the granny's to stay with you endlessly unless your Dad is retired and you can force him too.(I
have been cruelly using this option). In-case the grandmother is working that
option too fizzles out. Or send the kid to live with grandparents if they are
staying in a different city.
We may convince ourselves that we
are giving the kids the best that money can buy but the fact is that what
little toddler in your home requires is your time, full time. You may buy
better chocolates and better toys than you got all your life but then you won’t
be able to convince yourself that the best toy for the Kid that is you is not
around to get these plastic stuffs. And there is no way to learn what the kid
is going through all day cause when you return home, he always gives you a
glorious smile.
And as days pass the kid doesn’t
need less of your time and you don’t get any less busy. Of course your last
temptation may be to imagine that as time passes the kid will become busy with
school and activities. But then you are again banking on outsiders to ensure
that your kids learn as much as possible. Where is your role?
I am not even arguing that one of
the parents not working is an option in today’s uncertain and money dependent
world where each breath requires constant flow of money and each month is laden
with all sorts of bills possible.
Unlike the west where playschools
and crutch are under strict regulations and any let up on their part can result
in severe penalty in India the kind of daycare that is available is at best
sloppy.And even if there is a problem they know that you cant sue them for a
million bucks like they do in west. So there is no way you can force standards
except for the faint possibility of buying standards .
As one of my friends described
it, “The situation is scary”.
I would like to know what other
parents thinks especially those who have gone through this phase and the kids
are like 7-10 years old.
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